That One Girl Moscow

// Oh this mess I am. //

Running through open meadows
You’ll never catch me
Floating i am swimming in the blooms
Flora and fauna relay around my axis
I lose myself in this sweet bluebonnet field smattered with Indian paintbrush, buttercup sweet delight.
Oh this mess I am. I just want to become the sweet blossom under the sun. The wind only pushing me temporarily,
And your mistakes mean nothing here
As I disappear
Blue bonnet fields of sweet serene simplicity
And I am nothing here.
I am free
I am full of life yet dead like wilted petals
Still sapping water from dead roots
Oh this mess I am.

// I thought I would be more than this. //

Stay useless
Stay the same
Stay yourself everything will be fine,
Killing time, just living till I die.

No hope, so you can’t let me down.
No aspirations, no dreams, nothing makes me feel, like I’m anything more than dirt.

My problem is,
They always fall in love,
My Achilles heel lies in
Twenty dollar flats.
My own worst enemy
Never been a friend to me
It’s always just one day closer to death.

Oh how I long to feel the warmth of something real.
Not fleeting, not destined to fail,
To feel safe
To feel secure
I thought I was trusting but now it’s mistrusting I’m sure.

I remember why I hate Facebook now. Always making me cry with sappy sad shit.
Nope no thank you.

A means to an end my friend,
Just selling my soul to achieve a goal,
Don’t matter how you get there it’s where you’re going that actually counts.
You never know..
What secrets we hide.

// Pretty much //

Running is easier,
And I just love to run.
Wild and free.

Want that cake
Want all that frosting too
Want all that glitters baby
Cause it better all be gold
Want that cake
All the frosting too
Gonna eat it all up,
Boy I’m gonna have it too.

You’re charming, bearded, and have your life together, you’re talented and humorous. You’re good at the innernets and may even be reading this now. Tip of the hat to you sir. I’m highly intrigued.
Perhaps I’ll move away and you’ll forget about me,
But I like your willingness to explore.
I do best with direct.

// Things often have short life expectancy in nature.//

How sweet the flower blooming under snow drifts
The first sign of spring,
Crisp air bites nostrils,
Refreshing, not unlike you.

// # I lost count a long time ago.//

Fleeting romance is my specialty
Don’t look to me for stability
I’m like the tide,
I change constantly,
Don’t look to me,
Despite what I say I want to be free,
I may falter I may stumble,
I’m just a woman I’ll begrudgingly mumble,
I know what you’re going to say,
Oh sweet honey oh my lovely lay,
Do you think you are the first or the last to admit,
He is not fit.
It is not you I love,
It’s the rush of falling I crave,
You see love makes love,
And I am just a slave.

// Bubbles and honey//

It’s over, our love is done
Brief, fleeting and ever so wonderful. I’ll always know
You were the one that got away.
Just another number in the list.
For you and I could never be.
We’re just like bubbles. Lucky to escape the asphalt.

Easy to love they say,
love is no stranger to me.
But the way I can can smell your leather coat, heavy with sweat and smoke, and taste your sweet lips oh, just from your photo. Your love is one in 4.7 trillion, and I don’t mean to downplay you when I say that you, oh you, are special, for you my heart aches, for you my heart breaks, oh just to be touched by you again, just to pull you close in the wind. Oh Ian.
You melt this snowy heart.
You make my winters warm like spring.
You make my blood rush like rapid rivers.
I yearn for you in wake and sleep.
Yum. Hmm hmm hmm yum.

I should go to bed, but it’s barely two.
I want to stay up late preparing gifts,
Or at least get a really good start

// No no no no no no no//

Maybe limerence is my disaster of a destiny, unrequited love.

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